reyna man, sumasablay din. :)

[EDIT]

I just updated my "shitty shoutouts" document. Don't ask why.

[/EDIT]

Ilang araw na lang at gagradweyt na ako. Hindi nga ako makapaniwala eh. Ang tanda ko na pala. T_T

Ayos na ang damit ko. Sa Biyernes ko pa makukuha. Hay. Sana naman bumagay sa 'kin. Sayang ang dadats eh. HAHA. Wala pa akong sandals. Gusto ko kasi ng glittery black stilettos, eh mukhang ayaw ni Mama. BAKIT?! :[ Nakuha ko na rin ang hiniram kong toga. Sa iskul kasi namin, pasahan lang ng toga mula sa alumni. Weird 'no? Hehe. Di pa rin pala ako desidido sa hairstyle ko. Haaay. Pero excited na ako! :]

Una at huling praktis namin sa Summit Centre bukas. Ayaw nga sana namin na dun gawin ang grad pero okey na lang rin. Ang importante may grad ball kami. HAHA. Yeah, may grad ball kami pagkatapos ng commencement proper. Lusob papuntang Garden Orchid Hotel ang drama namin. May kainan, banda, sayawan. Saya. :]

Speaking of graduation, medyo hati ako ngayon. Parang puno kasi ang sked ko sa Biyernes. May dance practice ata kami. Tapos kailangan ko na rin magpraktis sa banda! Waa. :[ Pagkatapos nun, punta sa Rozen's (ngayon ko lang na-realize na combi pala ng names nina Tito Bert at Auntie Zeny ang name ng shop nila. Sweet.) para i-fit ang damit. Tapos, eto na.. May dalawang taong nag-iimbita sa 'kin sa grad parties nila. Magkaklase pa sila. HAHA. Pareho ko rin silang kaibigan. Di ko alam kung saan ako pupunta. :[At ang tanong: Payagan kaya ako nina Mama? Haha.

Speaking of payag issues, dito na lang raw ako mag-aaral. Yeah, sa Ateneo de Zamboanga University na ako. Final na. Haaay. Pero okey lang sa 'kin. Tama sila, sayang ang scholarship ko. At saka marami pa atang probs parents ko kaya kailangan ko rin maging considerate. Ayos lang rin naman sa 'kin na dito lang ako. Mas komportable pa ang buhay. Hehe. Pero baka lilipat rin ako pag Second Year na. Sa Silliman University, Dumaguete City na. Sana nga matuloy. Gusto ko kasi talaga dun eh. Please lang po, Lord. :]

Solved na ang isang prob ko. Choice course na lang ang dapat isipin. HAHA. Hmm. Dapat ipangako muna ng parents ko na lilipat ako sa Silliman. Kasi kung ganun, eh di kukuha ako ng BS Psychology. Hati kasi ako between AB at BS Psych. Pero kung tuloy man ang lipat, BS na lang talaga kunin ko. Wala kasing AB sa SU. Hehe. At safer na rin siguro pag BS. Kung mag-law or medicine man, pwede pa rin. Hehe.

Diyos meh! Ni di pa nga ako nakaka-graduate, kung anu-ano na naiisip ko. Hehe. O siya, babay muna. :]

Suddenly, I'm alive and I feel the need to write down everything I feel. But not quite.

I so hate stress. Why? Because.. one thing always leads to another. And in my case, stresses always lead to frustration and later on, depression. ): It's a complex self issue. I'd rather not talk about the process.

But..

*sigh* I think I badly need professional psychiatric help right now. I can rant all on my own (which, as of now, is the next best thing) but sometimes, it's just good to know that there's someone present to hear all your bad-day drama. Even if that someone just nods occasionally and asks "And how do you feel about that?". I feel so effin' lonely. No one to hear me out, no one to hug me when I'm scared, no one to watch over me-- it's a sad realm of loneliness that consumes me whole. And fast.

What to do now? Where to go after? When to stop? Who to call first? Clueless. Pointless, even.


*sigh*

It all ends tonight. It just has to. ):

[EDIT]

The third time I blogged this day. And I've got a good feeling that there'll be a fourth. Oh well.. *shrug*

*sigh*

Like I said on my MySpace blog (which I used after eons due to Blogger's stubbornness earlier in the day), I AM SO TIRED. I feel so drained for having to deal with so much stuff during the past few days. Finals, huge pile of projects and requirements, countless OTs at school for the Chem lab work, almost-late-night go home sked, staying up until the wee hours of dawn to read (I loved studying for the second day of exams, though. Econ rocks my socks.), attending to this and that thing, spending eye-blinding hours in front of the computer, fighting the urge to get into a coma and sleep for an entire week, feeling all zombie-like due to lack of rest, eating anything my hand grabs just so I can comfort myself, trying not to think of the ugly effects of comfort food, getting BIGGER zits here and there-- CAN'T YOU TELL HOW TIRING THIS IS? ):

Don't get me wrong, I love my Alma Mater. But for once, allow me to say how happy I am to finally get out of the hellhole this March 31. Yeah, it's the best hellhole one can ever be in. ^__^

The Zit hurts. (HAHA. I took the liberty of referring to it as a sort of person. It has an identity after all. And it TALKS.) Huge Zit just below the curl of my lower lip. Bad Zit, bad Zit. Go away, Zit. Please. ,vv

Ooh.. Yesterday, I downloaded Sundo by Imago. And I've been playing it for 90 times or so now. Wala lang. Makes me terribly insanely miss HIM. ):

Blog break's over. Gotta get back to that T-Test (which, in my opinion, might actually mean Torture Test, considering the splitting headache I have right now). Wait for my next post. Bwahaha. (:

[/EDIT]

I tell you, graduation is NOT a smooth exit from high school. Especially if you're enrolled in mine. Phbbt!

Seriously. Everything's gone whacko these past two HELL weeks. I'm actually cramming right now. (This is my definition of cramming: Wanting to get real busy but for some unknown, and possibly pathetic, reason, I can't because my brain refuses to process things SERIOUSLY.) Hmpf. I'm supposed to really really really get back to my work, but what? I'm blogging. I hate me sometimes.

At least the exams are over. Except for Computer, that is. Eek. And today's Last-Submission-of-Requirements Day, which is why (obviously) I'm "pretending" to rush. Which, I figured, is bad. Aww.

This is terrible- TERRIBLE, I tell you! (HAHA. Read that while pretending to be an overdramatic stage actor. Or Josh Peck. It's funny.) The clock's ticking and I'm still stuck in Clueless Land. Ugh. Someone build a black hole and suck me in. Waaaaa. Or dig up a hole where I can go through and end up in Africa. Ma'am Cinches will never find me there. She'll be busy selling her fertilizers to African farmers (if there are) to notice me wander about. Oh, please. ,vv

** Do I sound nutty or was that just my other brain talking? **

Doomed, I am. Doomed. ,vv